c o b a l t i k a

092807

i am not exactly sure i want to be showing these yet (or ever). but sometimes you need to just throw things out in the world. upon clicking, there are a couple more on flickr. they are pieces in progress. recycled photos, papers, paint experiments, stamps (hey! one is a bonkers stamp!), clipped text tale, beads and etc. when they are finished, there might be stuff sticking out of the edges. they will probably have a hanging thing and become objects. sometimes i wish i could quit making small things and Just Get Big. but i am terrified. i alternate between liking these and hating them. being a libra is so difficult.

la vie en rose (la mome) was amazing. i was afraid it would be smarmy and my poet would be cranky about sitting in those uncomfortable seats at liberty hall to see it. but not, it was intense and stunning. when i told betsy she *must* see it, she said "oh i saw it in paris last summer, on the champs-elysees. without subtitles." that girl!!!

i am so glad it is friday. and i am so glad i am going to texas next week!

091607

last evening i felt evilly restless, almost cranky, so decided to take a walk in the alleys. i have not walked in the early evening for quite a while, as it is hard to go back into the heat after i walk home from the office. but now it is cool and wonderful. i could hear all of the football noise from the stadium and though the streets were filled with parked cars, not many people were out. this town smells like buffalo bob smokehouse, with the underlying fragrance of mildewy basement. i had my camera. click the pic for more if you like.

090207

181 white street : 8x10 beeswax collage on canvas

this might be one of the last whitish, over-balanced, waxed things i make for a while. of course never say never. i like it, but it seems so uptight. i am sending it to the WhiteOnWhite collective anyway, assuming i will find a large safe padded envy pretty damn soon. i like it but it feels so rigid. i am trying so hard to move away from that ... structure. oh it is hard.

it is a good weekend and i am so happy that i still have tomorrow. all chores were done yesterday, so today and tomorrow are only about long walks, cooking and the artTable. and of course more reading. last night i stayed up until past 1am finishing a wonderful tale (Drop City). and some movies i found at traci's when i was feeding the kitties and looking for shelby. this morning we took a long long walk in north lawrence. sure i had my camera. but i was not really inspired and the images tell. i realize i am no longer enchanted here, even with the almost-change of seasons. it is very sad. i try, but it feels so forced. i know my time here is done. my girls are gone. why am i still here? yesterday in the Merc, the little checker looked at my $$card and said "are you margaret's mom?" and i felt so validated. i am their mom! i still am! today i made green chile stew, which was really more like soup, but good anyway, with bolillo and butter. of course we had no *real* bolillo, but i made do with a leftover baguette from the Merc. it is the time of year that you can smell chiles roasting in new mexico and i wanted to smell them in my house. i love roasting and skinning the chiles. and i have worked on a new book that i am excited about, but terrified i will ruin before i finish it. erf. but man i really like it...

i miss everybody.